Somehow after all that he kept talking to me:-)
Well, I am sure he feels very sorry for me, since it is clear that I don't have other friends besides him and Alma.
Alma is my Mexican friend, we hit it off right away and she was the only one that was happy hanging out with me and David at the same time. One day she asked David to teach her to play the piano, and since he looked so excited to do it I said " Oh... I want to learn too !!"
****I know, I know..how can I be jealous of my friend? To my defense, we didn't know each other that well, for all I know she could have been trying this whole time to give him some "Love Poison" and I was NOT going to let her have him!........... even though I really didn't have him myself. and I was only 18*****
One day after our "piano lesson" --in which miss Alma was being a TOTAL show off!!!--- (okay maybe I didn't practice at all, but still!) we walked Alma home ---why wasn't him letting her walk on her own I'll never know--- on the way back we were teasing each other, talking about worms and so on.
I don't know what got into me, but I was SO ready to EXPLODE with jealousy, I think it had to do with the fact that I knew I had disappointed him by not practicing the piano and Alma had impressed him... I don't know the thing is that.........
...well........I started teasing him about Alma, and how she is SO pretty and nice and fun and practices the piano and blah blah.
It didn't go as well as I thought it could........
*****OKAY I admit it, I was hoping he would say something like..."Alma? no way! she practices yeah, but you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen in my life and I love you more than words can describe, I need you and I would die without you!!!".............or something like that******
But no, it didn't go like that AT ALL! he was MAD you could tell he was mad, I could tell, the people walking by could tell the WORMS could tell for crying out loud!!!!! and the 10 minute walk became an eternity, I kept trying to understand, what out of ALL of the things I said made him this mad.
Once we got to my apartment I invited him in, we went to the kitchen and sat at the table. I remember he was serious and I asked him to talk to me. We sat next to each other and for some reason I could not face him, I took my little elastic bracelet off and started playing with it, trying not to make eye contact...
...Then... I asked him to tell me what was wrong, it was apparently a very hard question.
Monday, December 7, 2009
The biggest bruise EVER!
After I regained consciousness from the burning sensation of HIS hands on MY hips, I reminded myself to be "cool" then I turned to see him and there it was ....... those eyes...they get so small when he smiles so big..he had it, that perfect breathtaking grin of his...and I fell again!
No, not on the floor!! I fell for him all over again, then we started the dancing thing again, It was so much fun and I started going faster. We were going around and around the oval shape ring. I kept trying to regain confidence but I kept falling. Maybe I didn't really try very hard because that meant he had to hold my hand... he he he .....
...As the night was ending and we were doing our tricks my feet were hurting and I was having a harder time doing my thing and he was just more excited, so excited that at one of the turns he let go off my hand a moment too soon and I couldn't control myself..... when I tried to turn it was too late and I crashed into a little stage thing they had, well my knee did.
I knew then that it was impossible, why would HE be with ME? really! how embarrassing is that? everyone was looking and laughing and... well... it has always been like that, I am not the popular girl, I am not the one meant to get the cute boy...
... and with the biggest bruise I have ever gotten and with the reminder of how things are,
I took my skates off and sat down... on my own ... as he smiled and skated free like a bird.
No, not on the floor!! I fell for him all over again, then we started the dancing thing again, It was so much fun and I started going faster. We were going around and around the oval shape ring. I kept trying to regain confidence but I kept falling. Maybe I didn't really try very hard because that meant he had to hold my hand... he he he .....
...As the night was ending and we were doing our tricks my feet were hurting and I was having a harder time doing my thing and he was just more excited, so excited that at one of the turns he let go off my hand a moment too soon and I couldn't control myself..... when I tried to turn it was too late and I crashed into a little stage thing they had, well my knee did.
I knew then that it was impossible, why would HE be with ME? really! how embarrassing is that? everyone was looking and laughing and... well... it has always been like that, I am not the popular girl, I am not the one meant to get the cute boy...
... and with the biggest bruise I have ever gotten and with the reminder of how things are,
I took my skates off and sat down... on my own ... as he smiled and skated free like a bird.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
"With arms wide open"
That was the next slow song and thankfully Joey came and danced with me. I thought it was the most un-dance-able song! but I needed to clear my thoughts for a little bit. Joey had the ability to make me laugh all the time, so the 3 minutes went by fast. After that we kept talking, somehow we ended up on the second floor of the Mall and we watched everyone dance.
After we came down I could sense something was not right with David, I thought he looked upset, I thought maybe he was acting a little dry. I just went and kept talking to Joey because I was pretty sure that he was just letting me know my boundaries, that he was just being extra nice by inviting me over but nothing more than that.
Needless to say, the rest of the night was kind of dull. We came home very late and I could not sleep, I kept thinking of his troubled face, of his eyes, his coldness, his eyes, his embraced and then his indifference. It hurt but it was good to know where "we" were.
We just kept hanging out every day, and as the days went by I couldn't help but notice how all his free time was pretty much spent with me. I also made sure he was on top of my list when activities were made with other friends.
The ELC (where I learned English) had an activity every Thursday and on one of those we all went to Orem to roller blade. I invited David and even though I was a pro at in-line skating way back in Venezuela, and did tricks and what no, when the time came and I tried to stand by him I FELL!!!! ******Okay Belky I know this guy is cute, and you like his smile, and he's so smart and yadda yadda, but COME ON!! GET A GRIP!!****
He offered his helped and his hand burned mine, **I kind of like burning** I was up and ready to bring my reputation back up when I fell again **you gotta be kidding me!! ahhhh!!!**
Without any self esteem left I asked him to hold my hand for a little while until I get a grip or find a corner where I could hide for ever and ever.
Pretty soon we were having so much fun and decided to start a little dance. All this time he has been holding my hand.........until .....I guess he got bored :-( and asked me to let him go for a little while.
There I was, all lonely and going slower than a 2 year old going down a slide.... when all the sudden...
....."AH!!!" *******are those really his hands?... around my waist?.....Belk, are you breathing? DON'T! suck it in girl, tuck that tummy and any organ you got in there IN! ...........oh no... don't start falling........oh dear... he's smiling..... ****
*****Melting, disintegrating, dreaming...****
After we came down I could sense something was not right with David, I thought he looked upset, I thought maybe he was acting a little dry. I just went and kept talking to Joey because I was pretty sure that he was just letting me know my boundaries, that he was just being extra nice by inviting me over but nothing more than that.
Needless to say, the rest of the night was kind of dull. We came home very late and I could not sleep, I kept thinking of his troubled face, of his eyes, his coldness, his eyes, his embraced and then his indifference. It hurt but it was good to know where "we" were.
We just kept hanging out every day, and as the days went by I couldn't help but notice how all his free time was pretty much spent with me. I also made sure he was on top of my list when activities were made with other friends.
The ELC (where I learned English) had an activity every Thursday and on one of those we all went to Orem to roller blade. I invited David and even though I was a pro at in-line skating way back in Venezuela, and did tricks and what no, when the time came and I tried to stand by him I FELL!!!! ******Okay Belky I know this guy is cute, and you like his smile, and he's so smart and yadda yadda, but COME ON!! GET A GRIP!!****
He offered his helped and his hand burned mine, **I kind of like burning** I was up and ready to bring my reputation back up when I fell again **you gotta be kidding me!! ahhhh!!!**
Without any self esteem left I asked him to hold my hand for a little while until I get a grip or find a corner where I could hide for ever and ever.
Pretty soon we were having so much fun and decided to start a little dance. All this time he has been holding my hand.........until .....I guess he got bored :-( and asked me to let him go for a little while.
There I was, all lonely and going slower than a 2 year old going down a slide.... when all the sudden...
....."AH!!!" *******are those really his hands?... around my waist?.....Belk, are you breathing? DON'T! suck it in girl, tuck that tummy and any organ you got in there IN! ...........oh no... don't start falling........oh dear... he's smiling..... ****
*****Melting, disintegrating, dreaming...****
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